so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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