I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
