I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize