So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
