You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
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