So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
