This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
