i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
