either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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