But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
