stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
