The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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