We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize