ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Everclear isn't food dammit
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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