Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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