We won't sleep together?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize