i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
