I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
