I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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