He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
