Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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