Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
