when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
