pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
