Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
