i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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