1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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