dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
