I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
