I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize