I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Randomize