508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
