Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize