I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
