my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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