and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
