he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
