I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
