none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
my phone needs a breathalizer
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
