So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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