Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
