We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize