what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
no, he came in my armpit
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize