I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
