i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
The struggles of a small town man whore
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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