Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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