I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
