Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
