absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
