Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
