Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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