# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
