Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize