matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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