Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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