11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
