so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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