Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
time to smoke my breakfast
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
