Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Randomize
