i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Found your dick twin last night
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
