I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
