so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
